Kiwi Media

New Zealand television and radio both get a big thumbs down from me. As far as TV there are three normal stations, 1, 2, and 3. Almost all they show is American programming, and they have all the crap. They have all the junk reality TV from Survivor, The Great Race, Class Reunion, and the Apprentice. Plus Jerry Springer, Texas Justice, Dr. Phil and all the regular primetime crap. There are a couple Australian shows, mainly soap operas, a couple British shows, and a few Kiwi shows, but almost exclulsively American programming. I thought I was getting away from that. The news on these channels is an hours each night, the international stories are from ABC or NBC and there's about 15-20 minutes sports coverage during this hour. The sports coverage is almost exclusively about rugby. If there's not a rugby game on that night, they talk about a rugby game from 20 years ago... on the news. They seem to break for commercials every 5 minutes and it seems like they only have about 20 different commercials to show. Another channel is C4, which is a lot like MTV except that it's free on the airwaves (I give them credit for that) and it's infomercials about 15 hours a day. It has Futurama and all those lame MTV shows like the Newlyweds, and Camp Jim. There's also Maori TV. Nine times out of ten when I turn to this station, they're showing the schedule. When they occasionally do show something it's dancing. I've never once seen current Maori social issues discussed on this channel.

And then there's the radio... somebody shoot me please. I don't turn the radio on, but I can't escape it. It's the same 25 popular songs again and again. No variety ever and still alot of commercials. Really popular is what I like to call the "nice music". You know, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Donovan Frankenreiter, and more. Basically one guy, an acoustic guitar and singing happy sweet songs. I just don't go for this nice business at all. Most of the music is, from the USA, UK, or NZ. The Kiwi music is, you guessed it, "nice". I don't even think it's a NZ thing, I think todays popular music is like this. It's like it's 1975 on the radio all over again. If Karen hadn't skipped so many meals the Carpenters would probably be enjoying a huge comeback right now. I'd rather listen to something that leave a little bit of a bruise. Rant over.

Tales of a Night Porter

Ah.. being a night porter. The hours suck and so does the pay, but it can hardly be called work. Actually, I'm pretty sure I've never had a job with less responsibility. I've had a good time at this job. Here's a few of my exploits..

• About two months ago it was a Saturday night and I was having a nap. At around 4:30 in the morning I awake to some uncommon noise. Apparently the manager, who was living in house at that time hear it too because we both walked into the lobby at the same time with confused look on our faces and then split up to find the source of the commotion. I noticed some wet footprints on the slate floor, and ran for the hot pool in the back. Sure enough, there were some dunk local boys in it. I've worked the door in a club enough times to know how to get drunks to leave without incident and that's what I did. While they're heading out the manager comes out and starts berating them. Basically screaming and threatening which was returned by the lads. We went inside and looked around to find that they actually had walked into the kitchen while I was sleeping and took a bottle of balsamic vinagerette (which was right next to a couple bottles of wine) and that there was a couple of broken eggs on the floor. I felt like a bit of a boob since I should have locked the doors into the main atrium area of the hotel. At 7 in the morning when my shift ended the morning receptionist came in and asked if I knew why there were eggs broken all over the parking lot. "Yeah, I've got an idea..." This has since become a favorite anecdote to tell around the hotel.
• This one occurs about a month later. It was after my shift had ended, I was at home sleeping and my roommate, Nick, asked me if he could drive my van for a little while. I obliged and told him he could find the keys in a pocket of my jeans on the floor. An hour or two later my phone rings, it's work wanting to know if I have seen the set of keys that I carry at night and then pass off in the morning. I looked thru my pockets and couldn't find them, so I informed them of such. The next shift I worked they still had not turned up, they were using a spare set. I told them that the last I remembered of these keys I had let a waitress use them and she set them down on the table where I was eating breakfast a few minutes before my shift ended. Basically, I was told taking the heat for they keys just yet because I don't remember leaving the hotel with them. A full day later I see them under a pile of stuff on my dresser. It turns out that I did take them home by accident, Nick took those keys, and one of the cash register keys can start my van!
• The night porter who works when I am off, Lyndon, never does anything. He goes in at 11, goes to sleep and gets up at 7. He never does any of the cleaning he is supposed to do where as I always do. Last Monday, there was a BBQ at my place, it was Lyndon's night to work and he was there. The Japanese and I made a point to get him totally obliterated before sending him to work, we were quite successful. He stumbled in five minutes late with a bottle of beer in his hand. When I went in the next day to work he was the talk of the hotel. It was a busy night as there was a conference in the private room with an open bar that didn't wind down until after 3am. It was my job to set that room up for their meeting the next day after I went to bed, sure no problem. Before she left, the receptionist (who usually works mornings) asks me if I was going to be able to set the chairs up tonight. I told her I was. Then being my typical expiramenting, joking self I asked her "Just curious, why would have happened if I said I was not able to move those chairs?" She cuckled and went home, I set up the chairs. The next night, last night, I go in at my normal time and the manager meets me. He told me that I did not have to work any more and that they would still pay me for the last three nights I was scheduled to work since Friday was supposed to be my last day anyway. Then he told me he was tired of the attitude of me and the other porter (this was the first time I had seen him in 3 weeks) and that my comment about moving the chairs the night before was totally uncalled for. So once again, my dry sense of humor and fat mouth get me in trouble. I probably could have argued and pled my point and stayed on, but why bother? I still get paid and it's a lot more fun to sit here and write about getting fired that to write about begging to keep my job. I'm pretty sure Lyndon's getting the boot too.
  

Random Blatherings

My brother Dan has been on me about writing more on this site. I told him I'm not really a writer, he told me I was wrong. So I told him that I never really feel compelled to write, he said I was probably right. Don't take it personally folks, I never feel like writing, it has nothing to do with this blog. In fact, this blog is about the most writing I've done outside of an institute of learning. But people read this and I shouldn't keep them hanging. SO... I'm gonna try and publish more often, even if it's just a few sentences and has nothing to do with anything. Consider this a disclaimer. Here goes nothing.

It's time for me to get out of Methven. The ski season is almost over. The ski season would have been over two weeks ago had we not gotten an unseasonal cold snap that brought 40cm of snow. I had two good days up the mountain last week and one OK day this week. I have three more nights of work and then I blow this one-horse town. For three months I've ridden the one horse several times. It's probably culturally insensitive, as a foreigner, to strut into some town and ride their one horse several times so I gots to split. Zelda is sick. I think it's alternator related because she keeps draining the battery. I got a new battery and she drained it, they replaced that battery with another new one and she drained that one too. It's frusturating. A friend is gonna take a look at it, I'm trying not to think too much about it. But once Zelda is fixed I'm heading south, way south and I plan on fulfilling my hiking quota. I plan to spend at least 30 nights in the wilderness while in New Zealand, I've got 5 under my belt so far. So for the next six weeks I plan on doing very little besides hiking. I've had dailiy internet access for three months and barely post on here, now I've comitted myself to posting frequently and I won't even have access to frickin electricity. Ironic eh? Oh, and Helen Clark was re-elected to her thrird term as Prime Minister by a very narrow margin.

The Injury List

Yusuke - bruised ribs (snowboarding)
Hiro - injured neck (snowboarding)
Risa - injured (fractured?) ankle (skateboarding)
Matt- re-injured knee (skiing)
Therese - broken arm (snowboarding)
Joytee - broken arm (snowboarding)
Brazillian-Guy-Who-Rented-My-Season-Pass-Cause-He-Looks-Like-Me - hurt knee (snowboarding)
Tatsuya - torn ligament (snowboarding)

All these people have stayed at the same hostel I am staying at. I'm fine. I think the season is over though, it's definately Spring and the snow is almost entirely gone. There's always a chance of more snow, though. I think I might need to look into moving on, but having income is nice. I'll probably stay until the end of September.